Letting go is hard. So damn hard. A dream is a dream and you should never give up on it. Just because it can not come true now, doesn't mean it never will. Keep on dreaming that dream for one day you will achieve your goal - you'll just have to fight hard and long enough.
Refocusing is hard. So damn hard. When you have worked towards a goal for a long time only to figure out it was the wrong one and then from one minute to the next you are forced to overthink things and makes decisions you didn't see coming.
It's been hard. I have been struggling for the past 2 months and still am. My inside is a mess and I am having a really hard time dealing with our situation. I feel lost, but I'm working hard on finding back to my old self. Stefan has returned from the US after 5 long months of being separated last Wednesday. It might sound strange to some but we all have to get used to each other again. When you are separated you are forced to live with a new routine, your own routine and if I do say so myself, Leonie and I managed pretty well on our own. Now we all have to get used to our "old" routine again - and we are getting there.
It's so wonderful being together as a family again - our team is complete now and even our pup and kitty seem more laid back than before. We're working on refocusing and putting more thought than ever into how we want our future as a family to look like. We are also reevaluating what we want from life career-wise. I especially have a lot of thoughts and ideas in my head, I am just waiting for the final "spark" to lead me into the right direction.
I have never been much of a believer - I was raised very independently, my parents wanted my sister and I to figure out our own beliefs without laying theirs out for us to pick up on. Don't get me wrong though - I do believe, it might just not be what others believe in. And that's ok. But this whole experience has led me to overthink my beliefs. I believe that this was meant to happen. I believe that there is another plan for us - we are just not able to see it just yet. I am curious of where we will be guided to and I cannot wait to figure it out.
I am hoping to be back over here more frequently again - this much needed break has shown me how much I missed and need my online friends!